I am doing a ‘blog’!
Regular listeners of One Life Left may be surprised to hear that life as videogame podcasting’s favourite gay poet is not all chicken kievs, desultory tear-soaked masturbation and self-harming on the soles of my feet. Much as I relish the time I spend playing Fighter Bomber in the dark, surrounded by my pictures and pets and emergency faecal specimens, I also like to get out once in a while and mix with ‘other people’.
And, while it is true that most people are contemptible, malodorous, wafer-thin-ham-smelling mediocrities, some are actually quite charming. There was a lovely-looking gentleman in John Menzies yesterday with long hair, pulled back into a ‘pony-tail’ or somesuch. He had some gauze around his forearm, suggesting that he had recently sustained burns, perhaps in a chip-pan fire. I attempted to start a conversation with him around his wound and he rebuffed me politely, which I thought was delightful. I persisted humbly, shyly lowering my trousers and whispering, “Tuck in darling, I hardly think it’s going to suck itself”. It seems that he was the shy type, as he pushed me away quite forcefully.
Such is life. The only thing hurt was my pride. And, of course, the poodle that I crucified on the way home to ‘let off steam’. I decided that the best thing to do was spend the rest of the evening playing Super Mario Kart 64 as the character Toad, and directing my character to drive into a volcano time and time again. This proved surprisingly effective at silencing the voice of dread and lonliness bellowing at me from within my own skull-hole. In summary, I would reccomend it to anyone, gay or otherwise!
Well, it’s been fun ‘blogging’ with you. Words are, after all, only words so I will do it again definitely. Definitely.