One Life Left — s04e08 — #80 — Mother’s Day
We’re One Life Left’s parents and we love all our children, but our eightieth (recognised) child was certainly born under a bad sign. Seconds before the show started we were shouted at by our beautiful engineer, Maria, for a crime we didn’t commit, so we shouted back; and then, when the show finally started, two of the mics weren’t working. The only person who could save us? Maria. Uh oh!
But save us she did and so, beginning with an early hit of mood-music to cover up the tense sounds of an audio caesarian, episode eight of season four pukes and mewls its way into your ears. This episode: Craig, Derek, Mathew and Taliah all entertain with winning contributions, a couple of engagements for you to add to your diaries, some news of some NEW OLL merchandise and a very, very, very special guest.
And gossip, reviews, news, Simon Byron’s Memoirs, etc.
Music in #80:
Destiny’s Child // Say My Name by Copy
Niji No Kawa by she
Animal Crossing Traveling OC ReMix by Kaijin
Bright Tomorrow by Fuck Buttons
Blogs about contents to come later in the week, hopefully. And OLL at GameCity, of course. See you all on Thursday?
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One Life Left — s04e07 — #79 — No Prizes
No prizes for naming this week’s guest after the first, ooh, three words of the show. No prizes for working out what’s up with Ann’s voice, either, particularly if you’ve been reading our blog. And, if you were lucky enough to attend the GMAs last Thursday, no prizes for guessing what most of this week’s apology section concerns. Uh oh, it’s OLL #79: the post-party regret.
But the show isn’t just about red faces, recollection immediately followed by regret. There’s also the bits in between, the features and news and jingles and stuff. You know, the good stuff: Craig ‘The Rage’ McClellan takes on the Nintendo DS, Taliah looks at Ridge Racer and Mathew Kumar recalls Seaman on the Dreamcast.
And, midway through, just after the letters section and essentially out of nowhere, we announce OLL’s next public gathering and invite you all. We’ll do a proper blog about that this week but for now please accept our audio invite. You should come. It promises to be awesome. There might even be prizes.
We also play some astonishingly good music on #79:
Sun Lights Stars (Covox Remix) by Ram Rider
Earthbound — Twoson Hits The Road — OC Remix by djpretzel
Coloris by She.
And, you know, everything else.
Download the podcast from here if you’re not subscribed on iTunes (you should really just do that, right?). Please enjoy — protest on our forum if you don’t, or even if you do — and we’ll see you in a week (and maybe *see* you in ten days). Exciting times!
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I am doing a ‘blog’!
Regular listeners of One Life Left may be surprised to hear that life as videogame podcasting’s favourite gay poet is not all chicken kievs, desultory tear-soaked masturbation and self-harming on the soles of my feet. Much as I relish the time I spend playing Fighter Bomber in the dark, surrounded by my pictures and pets and emergency faecal specimens, I also like to get out once in a while and mix with ‘other people’.
And, while it is true that most people are contemptible, malodorous, wafer-thin-ham-smelling mediocrities, some are actually quite charming. There was a lovely-looking gentleman in John Menzies yesterday with long hair, pulled back into a ‘pony-tail’ or somesuch. He had some gauze around his forearm, suggesting that he had recently sustained burns, perhaps in a chip-pan fire. I attempted to start a conversation with him around his wound and he rebuffed me politely, which I thought was delightful. I persisted humbly, shyly lowering my trousers and whispering, “Tuck in darling, I hardly think it’s going to suck itself”. It seems that he was the shy type, as he pushed me away quite forcefully.
Such is life. The only thing hurt was my pride. And, of course, the poodle that I crucified on the way home to ‘let off steam’. I decided that the best thing to do was spend the rest of the evening playing Super Mario Kart 64 as the character Toad, and directing my character to drive into a volcano time and time again. This proved surprisingly effective at silencing the voice of dread and lonliness bellowing at me from within my own skull-hole. In summary, I would reccomend it to anyone, gay or otherwise!
Well, it’s been fun ‘blogging’ with you. Words are, after all, only words so I will do it again definitely. Definitely.
Love
Craig
Losing things at the GMAs
We lost some stuff at the GMAs last night. Dignity and pride, of course, but there was very little of that to begin with. Oh, and some award or something, but that got dealt with as you will find out in due course. But my voice. I lost my voice. I lost it somewhere between meeting Simon, Ste, our ‘producer’ Laura and Tom Bramwell from that website that actually did win something in the pub and leaving Simon on the floor (which he doesn’t remember) and not saying goodbye to anyone. Probably because I didn’t have a voice.
We had a nice time, sort of. We had a drunk time definitely. We had a loud time, shouting at each other, comedians, award winners, people we knew, people we didn’t know, people we know now who wish they didn’t know us. And it doesn’t really matter that we didn’t win the award (it clearly does!) because we technically, technically won more awards than anyone else. We got 3 on-stage shout outs from other award winners and that’s basically a win in itself.
And this:
If you can’t beat them, steal, smash or deface their awards.
Award#1 – One Life Left: Best Specialist Games Writer Online!
We love Gibbo, obviously, and were really happy when she won her award, and even happier when she thanked One Life Left, but it was too easy scribbling GibbOne Life Left.
Award#2 – One Life Left: Best Regional Games Columnist
Like stealing candy from a Scottish baby.
Award#3 – One Life Left: Best Games Magazine!
Well, that was quite a mess to clear up.
Award#4 – One Life Left: Best Games Media Legend!
This man was just looking after the award. Not looking after it very well, were you, man?
Award#5 – One Life Left: Best Broadcast!
They said we couldn’t do it. We did.
So we totally cleaned up at the awards! Well done team OLL! We want to thank our lovely listeners, our amazing contributors, and our parol officers.
Next year maybe we’ll just be losing our voices.
One Life Left — s04e06 — #78 — Broken Record
We’ve never been afraid of tempting fate — would we self-herald as Britain’s favourite videogame radio show if we were? — but the news we received this morning might make a weaker team opt for humility and caution over bravado in the future. Still, we wouldn’t be One Life Left if we weren’t big-mouthed idiots so please enjoy our 78th hour of published regret.
Inside you’ll find, amongst other joys, the return of our gambling contributor Odds On O’D and a brand new doyouinverts track inspired by one of One Life Left’s favourite websites. There’s also five pieces of expertly-stolen gaming news, some new music and Ste talks about how he went to Tokyo by mentioning SHIBUYA a lot.
Also apologies. Genuine apologies.
Please write to us. You’ll note midway through the show we make a plea for your help. We will replace that plea later in the week so keep reading for an update on that. For now, enjoy our hour and keep your fingers crossed for us on Thursday.
Music in #78: Sonic the Hedgehog Metamorphic Rock by Darkesword + Sixto Sound
One Car Family by 240 Interceptor
Monsieur Revee by best-friend-of-One-Life-Left Spencer
and, as mentioned, more from the doyouinverts.
Apologies for the (jetlag-related) delay. See you soon.
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7/10
Have you bought FIFA on PSP yet? If not, read this, then do so, because it’s absolutely brilliant.
Simon Byron’s review of FIFA 09 for Pocket Gamer.
Remember, Pocket Gamer’s review scores have three more numbers higher than ours, and six more below. The fools.
(I would add a picture to that, but my ‘print screen’ button is malfunctioning.
Challenge Ann #1: CB Radio
Hi!
Sorry this has taken so long. Who knew moving would be such a hassle? But there has been some good news – the Xbox is BACK. And it works! And I still have no idea what the difference between a regular 360 and an Elite is!
But talking moving and Xboxes is not why I’m here. I am here to update you on Challenge Ann #1: CB Radio.
Here is an open (and also closed when I emailed it to potentially his email address) letter to Cliffy B – If you’ve googled yourself Cliff, hi! Please join our radio show!
Hello!
How are you? Good, probably, although wondering who on earth is emailing
you. Let me explain.My name is Ann. Hi. And I do a radio show in England about videogames. The
show is called One Life Left and it’s Europe’s only FM broadcasting
videogame radio show. But it’s not just me for an hour every week – I do
it with two boys and a load of other awesome people contribute. They do
all sorts of crazy things. Video game poetry, video game songs, video game
betting tips, video game market reports spoken over amazing synths, video
game insiders talking under pseudonyms.There is one thing we don’t have though. CB Radio. You! Cliffy B Radio!
You can do whatever you want (that won’t get us sued or anything)! You can
spout your gaming opinion/knowledge/etc. A weekly word of wisdom.So, whadda you say? It’d be a laugh, wouldn’t it?
If you want to figure out who we are and what we do you can go to
www.onelifeleft.com or visit iTunes and listen to our latest offering.I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Bye!
Ann
So, that is phase one. I do not know what phase two is if phase one fails, but I really hope it doesn’t involve a jumpsuit.
Ann
xx
One Life Left – s04e05 — #77 – Illegal Alien
CD prepared? Check. Guests – or co-presenter – in studio? Check. Over-ambitious list of things to chat about? Check. Studio door locked just in case The Man tries to interrupt the maverick broadcast? Check. Memory card inserted into the memory card machine so the show can be recorded and podcast if that’s a verb? Check. Record pushed?
This show is sponsored by: www.myspace.com/spencerlikesme
With Ste away in Japan, good ship One Life Left is left in the (dis)able(d) hands of Simon, Ann and guest co-host Tom BrammersMcBramwell from off of Eurogamer.net.
Ste’s List Of Things To Do is largely ignored as we ramble our way through radio exclusives such as:
SHOCK PRACTISES OF SCUMBAG HARDWARE MANUFACTURERS WHO WANT YOUR GAMES TO BE BROKEN!
NINTENDO BEING SCUMBAGS!
A PEADOPHILIAC SONG COMPOSED USING A GAME BOY A BIT!
THE FIRST LOOK AT A NEW PIECE OF HARDWARE WHICH IS DIFFICULT TO DO ON THE RADIO!
Then: The Phone! After all, when better to experiment with technology than when the desk is being driven by someone who’s only driven a desk once before, and that
went very badly? I know: now.
Still, it seems to go reasonably okay, until the shock twist at the end of the show, when at which point literally – literally – all seems lost.
This episode is bought to you – unedited – thanks to One Life Left best friend Spencer Lee. Who not only provides one of the show’s audio high points, but saves this episode. Literally.
Thanks Spencer. OLL salutes you. Thank him here: www.myspace.com/spencerlikesme. Thanks also to Derek, who would have been there if Spencer wasn’t.
Oh, music:
Knights of Cydonia 8bit (ripped from YouTube)
Agony theme, Psygnosis
Two listener contributions
Lemmings Rap 7inch, SFX
Commando theme, Rob Hubbard
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Apologies in advance, obviously
Hello, hi.
So, Ste’s in Japan which in radio terms means if One Life Left was a plane and Ste was a pilot, I’d have just slit his throat and I’m now heading towards the World Trade Centre in it.
In real terms, it means I’m hosting it on my own with Ann.
Anyone who listened last week will know I can’t “drive” a desk, and doing two things at once in the studio actually made my wrists tingle.
Ste’s emailed me some instructions which I thought I’d lost but have subsequently found. It’s been a hell of a morning. But the podcasting bit does seem a bit of a shag, and will only work if I remember to do stuff in the proper order. If Resonance had more than one studio, we’d be able to enjoy a fairly smooth changeover session. As it stands, it takes The Bike Show at least a minute to get their bikes and whores out of the studio, and a further 30 seconds or so to discard the drug paraphernalia. I am unlikely to remember to do everything.
I’m fully expecting it to be car crash radio, and I’m fully expecting it not to be podcast. So listen live, is what I’m saying – either on the radio if you’re in London, or over the Internet at ResonanceFM.com.
The “fun” starts at 7:00pm. We’ll be thrown off the shortly afterwards. Between the two, do keep us company by emailing team@onelifeleft.com.
I’m a bit nervous about it all, in all honesty.
Little Big Planet competition
That’s right, users. OLL is about to dump on IGN and Gamespot and 1up and everyone else who has given away Little Big Planet codes – with our very own exclusive world’s biggest Little Big Planet beta key giveaway ever.
But first, Taliah’s verdict:
“Little Big Planet? That doesn’t make sense. I think they mean ‘medium’.”
We had fun playing it – and so can you. Just head over to the Triforce/One Life Left forum and tell us why you deserve the key. The best answer, as judged by The Triforce will win not one beta key – that’s the sort of thing IGN will give you – not two – though even that’s already more than what Gamespot would reward you with – but three – that’s three – THREE – beta keys, so you can pass two on to your mates.
LBP is absolutely awesome (7/10). We’ll see you and two mates in it.
G’luck!
TSP: our rules apply, whenever we get to make them up. Competition closes midnight GMT tonight (2nd October 2008)